By June Mathews
Of a Certain Age … and Counting
Anyone who knows me is aware of my penchant for a good bargain. Mama taught me early and well to hold out for the markdowns and look for the clearance signs. So when I spotted an end-of-season table filled with fleece pajama pants at Walmart a few weeks ago, I was naturally drawn to it.
Though most of the hapless garments sported pink zebra stripes or a startling turquoise leopard print, I finally unearthed a comparatively conservative black-with-pink-and-green-stars pair in my size and snapped them up. They’re clearly not the height of fashion – even for pajama pants – but they’re soft and comfy, and I figured the advertised five bucks wasn’t a bad price to pay.
And let’s face it: When Jimmie notices I’m in dire need of an article of clothing, it’s time to act.
You see, until I bought those pants, my lone pair of pajama pants was nearly two decades old, and the elastic waistband had deteriorated to the point of being an oversize, ineffective strip of thick fabric. While the pants were still perfectly functional for sitting purposes, standing up and walking around in them was becoming more of a losing proposition by the day.
Remember that song, “Pants on the Ground”? Well, there you have it.
Anyway, I guess Jimmie must have had his fill of seeing me slouch around the house with my thumb twisted in the waistband of my pajama pants to keep them from sliding south.
“For Pete’s sake,” he said more than once, “go buy yourself some new ones.”
Still, though, I delayed. As time goes by, shopping holds less and less attraction for me, and my retail activities are lately limited to necessities like chocolate chip cookies and craft supplies. But if I were to keep enjoying the carefree comfort of pajama pants, I really needed to invest in a new pair.
As it turned out, though, I didn’t have to hunt for them; I nearly tripped over them as I made my way from the cereal aisle over to cosmetics. Quickly recognizing a good buy when I saw one, I tossed the starry pile of fleece into the cart, finished my shopping and headed to the cash register.
Halfway through scanning my about-to-be purchases, the cashier picked up the pajama pants and began searching for the price tag.
“It’s right there,” I said helpfully, pointing to a nearly non-sticky sticker on an inside seam.
But she doggedly continued to search for another tag.
“It says five dollars,” I said, fearing a bargain was about to slip through my fingers and feeling slightly offended that the woman wasn’t taking take my word for the price.
She finally pulled out the tag she’d been seeking and keyed in a number.
“That’s what I thought,” she said. “These aren’t but two dollars.”
Wow, TWO DOLLARS? I was tempted to reach over the conveyor belt still running between us and give the woman a hug. If there’s anything I like more than a good bargain, it’s a better bargain, and those pajama pants with their new – and, may I add, quite functional – elastic band had suddenly become 60 percent better.
And just like that, I’m happy, hubby’s happy. What more could you ask for two bucks? Except…
It seems Jimmie is now reluctant to appear in public with me whenever I’m wearing my favorite jeans.
“Go buy yourself some new ones,” he said in what has become an all too familiar refrain.
“But why?” I asked. “Ripped jeans are in style.”
“Okay, first of all? Ripped jeans are for kids, and you’re not a kid anymore,” he unmercifully replied. “And if those rips in your jeans get much bigger, they’re going to be classified as indecent exposure.”
I hate it when he’s right.
June Mathews can be reached at jmathews120@charter.net.
40 Comments
Virginia Vinson
Glad to know your column is back.
Kathy Bell
Made my day needed a good laugh
Vickie Aldridge
The struggle is real when it comes to shopping for yourself. Justifying a new pair of clothing… the fear of rejection from the piece of clothing you thought looked good. A bargain and comfy pants are never a disappointment and I’m glad you have your new $2 pajama pants!
Joy Dunn Dumes
Love this girl! Welcome back friend!
Kris Robinette
Love me some June Mathews!
Thomas Mann
As long as it’s comfortable and decent who cares but you and your spouse. Good going girl!
Sue J Richards
Beautiful !!
Martha Butler Flowers
So funny June!!!!
Sonia Treadwell
Love it
Renee Pierce
Love some June Harper Mathews.
Jefferey Garrett
What took you so long!? Welcome back…
Renee' Ferguson Jones
I love her writing! June Harper Mathews you OWN me!!!
Stacy Grubbs Clayton
So glad June is back! Love her
Phil Sims
MAN, have I missed her humor and wisdom! Thank you for bringing June back!
Scott Buttram
You aren’t helping, Phil.
June Harper Mathews
Yes, he is. Go ahead, Phil. You were saying…?
Ashley Bowdon Williams
I’m with Phil! I’ve missed her writings! Yay!!!!!!!
Betty Gilchrist Penuel
June is a great writer and friend. Glad to have her back.
Elizabeth Bell Pridgen
I was thrilled to see Mrs. June’s writings again in the The Trussville Tribune! Always enjoy her truthful and honest- humorous take on LIFE and everyday situations!
Wanda Westbrook
Funny article!
Courtney Lindsey Dollar
I will eat fish on Fridays in honor of her return!
Billy Harper
Harper’s raise some goodlooking women
Sheila Ray
She serves the raise!
Terry Schrimscher
I should have gotten your autograph when I could
Anne Edwards Miller
She is great!! Glad she’s back
Carl Martin
I’d love to see her ride in on the donkey — I know where we can get one!
June Harper Mathews
Yep. Sorry, Terry, that ship has sailed….
June Harper Mathews
Yay! Thank you, Sheila!!!
June Harper Mathews
Does this mean you’re going to be nice to me from now on?
June Harper Mathews
Carl, Carl, Carl. Don’t you know I’m gonna have to get you back for that? When will you ever learn???
Leigh Denton Morgan
I love you June!
Patti Pafford Hitchcock
Gifted writer! Wasn’t I saying that to you this morning? That’s before I saw this. Congrats!
Jane Bates Wilkerson
Congrats, June.
Terry Schrimscher
:p
Courtney Lindsey Dollar
Yea right……….just trying to get you a raise so you could buy me lunch.
June Harper Mathews
Shoulda known… :/
June Harper Mathews
And I love you back, Leigh Denton!
Becky Gann Johnson
You must watch Courtney. She is a very good planner! And a great cook so she should prepare lunch for you!
Carl Martin
I know, but I couldn’t resist!
Massey Willingham
Love June’s writing.