By June Mathews
Columnist
Used to be I’d never dare darken the doors of First Baptist on Easter morning dressed in anything less than my seasonal best: a newly-purchased pastel-colored frock, a tortuous pair of pantyhose and a blindingly white pair of pointy-toed pumps or strappy sandals.
It was Easter, after all, and wearing white shoes was not only mandatory; it was finally permissible. Something I’d been looking forward to since relegating the previous year’s pair of white shoes, along with the white pants and white skirt, to the back of the closet right after Labor Day.
Being a 1971 graduate of a six-week Saturday morning program of beauty and etiquette for young ladies of refinement called Sears Charm School, I was proper like that.
Besides, I didn’t want to place myself squarely on the receiving end of the Lord’s wrath. (Seems there used to be a commandment in the New Testament that said, “Thou shalt dress to the nines for church every Easter Sunday.”) Neither did I want Mama to feel like she’d spent all that money on charm school, only to end up with a clodhopper of a daughter who didn’t know beans about dressing well.
These days, though, my attitude toward Easter finery isn’t quite so high-falutin’ as it was back then. And while I might buy a new accessory or two to mark the occasion, I don’t necessarily go all out anymore.
But as far as I’m concerned, wearing certain white articles of clothing before Easter and after Labor Day has remained taboo. Same goes for wearing white shoes, except for those with a New Balance logo emblazoned on the side.
So as you can imagine, my entire sense of style was recently blown to smithereens when Mama casually remarked, “It’s okay to wear white pants year-round now if you want to.”
My head didn’t stop spinning for days.
I don’t recall exactly what prompted her to say it, but I believe we were talking about how a shirt I’d found at an after-Christmas sale would look great with white pants.
“Too bad I can’t wear white pants for a few more months,” I said, naively operating under the illusion that Mama and I remained in total agreement on the matter.
And that’s when she dropped her verbal bomb.
I couldn’t have been more shocked if she’d announced she was leaving the Baptist church to go join up with the Catholics because their communion juice tastes better. But with the recent changes in her views on such important things as wearing white pants, I reckon anything’s a possibility. Heck she might as well be a Democrat.
After hammering this stuff into my head from infancy, how can Mama now say it’s perfectly fine to break the central rule upon which I’ve based my spring/summer seasonal wardrobe for the past 50 years?
What’s next? Is she going to tell me horizontal stripes really don’t add pounds after I’ve shunned rugby shirts since college and turned my back on those cute French-inspired, black-and-white-striped tunics that are all the rage right now? Surely not.
If that’s the case, I guess this means I can buy one of those striped shirts and wear it with white pants before Easter and clear through ‘til Christmas.
But if I do that, I’m essentially renouncing my charm school training, which means I should probably return my certificate of completion to the nearest Sears store. Or maybe I should just keep quiet and hope they never learn what a dismal failure one of their proudest graduates has turned out to be. Unless I can get a refund, that is.
In the meantime, it looks like Mama’s going to have herself a clodhopper of a daughter after all.
Serves her right, if you ask me.
June Mathews can be reached at jmathews120@charter.net.
20 Comments
Traci Biggs
Really
Cynthia Williams
Yes not even going to church on Easter will erase that sin
Linda D. Crumpton
Well YES! If you are a true southerner, you know you don’t wear white until Easter Sunday!!!
Janice Kiley Sims
😂😂😂
Lynn Reid
That’s what I’ve always been told, however in the grand scheme of our world today, just be glad they have clothes on regardless what color they are.
Carol Miller
Can’t bring myself do it……my mom never gave permission before she passed away…but hey, I will just ask your mom tomorrow
Sonia Treadwell
I wore white jeans today
Leah Scharf Miller
Yall go ahead and wear your white pants before Easter, decorate with cotton when it’s out of season, use someone other than your mothers chicken salad recipe…go ahead. But when you get to Heaven and your mother beats you I will not feel sorry for you.
Rita N Tony Tidwell
I started to do that the.other day. But i was afraid someone would talk……..NOT !!!
Kay Wood Still
That just means you are fashionable!! Old rules for old school!! White jeans are the trend year around!!!
Lisa Wynn
I wear white year round 😳
Sonia Treadwell
Me too
April Speanburg
No white before Easter? I’ve never heard of that before. Ever. But I’m an atheist, so I guess I can wear white year round with no ill effects.
Janet Wages Cisco
June, the older we get, the more we’ll be able to get by with! Folks will just look at us and say oh those poor old ladies!! All the charm school in the world won’t be able to help us!! (I went to one also.) There will always be true Southern ladies like our moms who will know the difference, then there’ll be us!!
Briana Moore
Slow news day, huh?
Vickie Aldridge
It’s a column. She doesn’t write news she just writes great stuff.
Vickie Aldridge
being a northern girl turned southern mama, I whole heartedly love this column.
Kathryn Smith
I wear white into fall because it’s so darn hot here in the south. In the spring I abide by the old rule.
Rebecca Bullock
And we care, why??? I will wear whatever color. Yes, I have heard this all my life and still did not care. Should this even be a topic of discussion? Geeze….lol
Crissy Savell Lambert
Absolutely not. I wear whatever I want whenever I want. But I do heat my mother’s voice in my head!