For Maria Bamford, the resume and accolades are really starting to add up. Did you know that she:
- Was the first female comic to star in two half-hour “Comedy Central Presents” specials?
- Starred in her standup special (that you can watch on Netflix) called Maria Bamford: the Special, Special, Special?
- Released an audio version of that special, Ask Me About My New God!, and it was named one of the best albums of the year by Entertainment Weekly?
- Won the Best Club Comic at the 2014 American Comedy Awards?
- Was named one of the 50 Funniest People by Rolling Stone?
- Is regarded as funny and special by Judd Apatow, Huffington Post and Weld?
- Took a big bag of money from Target and is coming to Iron City on Jan. 23rd?
It’s all true, and not only that, Bamford is a charming and witty gal who you can call for a good time, if your idea of a good time is emailing a press agent to schedule a formal chit-chat sesh with one of the greats for about half an hour. Let’s pick up the conversation somewhere after the obligatory hellos and questions about the weather.
MB: So what’s a good place to check out music in town?
Weld: There are plenty of options, but on a one-night trip, I guess I have to recommend the Bottletree Café. By all accounts it’s a cool joint. Local dum-dums can play there, but also some hot shot peers of yours like Tig Notaro, John Hodgman and Rob Delaney have all been there in the last year. A lot of levels of talent and fame walk through the doors.
MB: Wow, okay. That’s really awesome. The Bottletree. Well, I’ve written it down. Let’s see what I’ll be capable of. Um. I’m only 45. Somehow I like to act as if I’m 90 to 100.
Weld: The Bamford family plays a game called Joy Whack-A-Mole [see Bamford’s Special, Special, Special or Ask Me About My New God! for full routine], where one person “brings up something they’re really happy about and the other person tries to SLAM IT DOWN!!” I would love to send out a fair warning to your B’ham audience. When you’re performing, what are some Joy Whack moments the crowd can avoid during your show?
MB: What would bum ME out? Oh, I don’t know. Um. I want there to be a sense of freedom in the crowd, uh, joie de vivre. I don’t wanna control people now. I’m for everyone though. But if you don’t like the show, I would recommend you stage a nonviolent sit-in sort of protest rather than rising up, but I appreciate…well, the great thing about shows is you can YouTube things and go, “Oh,” and sort of avoid the horror and surprise that you used to have when a friend, or so-called friend, would invite you somewhere and say, “Oh, you’re gonna love this. You’re gonna love this because we love each other and we love the same things.” And then they take you and it sucks.
So you don’t have to have that anymore, thanks to YouTube. But if that does happen, take yourself out for a walk. Buy yourself a tea. Maybe some circus peanuts or old timey marshmallow candies, ‘cause you’re a good friend and you took a chance! It’s not your fault your friend doesn’t know you as well as they thought they would. Not your fault. It just makes your friendship all the richer now that you’ve learned something about each other: that you hate this kind of comedy outing.
Weld: And you’ll never want to hang out with them again. You’ll just avoid them without telling. You can avoid them all the time and never answer their calls or texts again.
MB: It could be the end of a relationship, OR IT COULD be the beginning of a new honesty. A new level of honesty. “Oh, I didn’t know!” your friend will say. What you see is that people sometimes smile at their family but they might feel otherwise. This might bring all that to a head. It’s like suddenly, OH MY GOD, it’s impossible to continue a relationship where feelings are not brought out. I DON’T LIKE THIS!
Weld: THE PORK TENDERLOINS ARE TOO DRY! Something like that.
MB: Yeah! It’s the little things that really push us over the edge.
Weld: A series of little things.
MB: Right. I don’t know. Joy Whack-A-Mole…If anybody comes, I’m just very grateful that somebody comes and that’s how it is. If you HAVE to make loud yelping noises at odd intervals, I’ll try to get around it.
From Bamford’s website FAQ:
Any advice for someone thinking of getting into comedy/showbusiness?
Just do it. Do whatever it is you want to do. Do it poorly, do it horribly, do the worst job you possibly can. Fail miserably. Get fired. Do it and do it and do it. Over and over and over. Read “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron, if you’re into that type of thing. Do it wherever you can, wherever you are. Ask yourself if you’re enjoying it. Do it again. Find places to do it where you enjoy it the most. Do it there. Keep on doing it. Move to a city where there’s more of it. Realize that – though it’s fun- it doesn’t fill the hole inside. Do it again. Get better at it. Get recognized for doing it. Realize that that doesn’t fill the hole inside. Do it again. Focus on your personal life. Have people ask you for advice. Do it again. Do it poorly, do the worst job you possibly can. Fail miserably. Get fired. Do it again. Keep doing it, but take off 9 days a month. Do it some more. See interviews, self-help links.
Weld: I love this section from your FAQs, but I have to ask you about the metaphor here. We all have work professional goals and aspirations, but at some point they don’t fill the hole inside. I don’t have a great way to ask this question without sounding like a perv, but what DOES fill the hole inside?
MB: Well. I don’t know… I think it’s just, whatever your own philosophies or other people in the world or your mother or someone in customer service and being with them and being a part of the world and feeling connected and that you’re needed by people and loved. That people love you matters. Um, I have this joke where I look at my out-of-shape, elderly dog. I look in the mirror. You get to a point in life where you feel like you have just enough people, no matter what. Like, even if you [expletive] up in a major way. Like, on a regular basis. There are certain people who just stand by you. Even if I [expletive] on the carpet like twice a day, I’m still gonna get treats. Like, why not?
Maria Bamford stands up at Iron City on Friday, Jan. 23. Mary Patterson Broome will open. Doors will open at 7 p.m., with showtime at 8. Tickets are $25 in advance, $30 day of show, and available at ironcitybham.com.