By Ken Lass
It is 9:30 pm on a typical weekday evening. I’ve been yawning non-stop for the last hour and I finally decide to stop fighting it and go to bed. I am scheduled to teach a Bible study in the morning and I want to be well-rested and sharp for it.
Ken Lass, Tribune columnist
I set my alarm for 6:30 am. Out of sheer habit, I grab my crossword puzzle book and start working in it. For as long as I can remember, I always work on a crossword in bed before going to sleep. It helps me to get drowsy on nights when I am not tired. This is not one of those nights. I solve a few answers and put the book down. I turn off the light, fluff up the pillow, smooch Sharon with a good night peck, and it’s off to la-la land. The switch in my brain shuts off and I’m out in minutes.
Next thing I know, my eyes pop open. I glance at the clock. It’s 2:17 am. No problem. I’ll just drift off again. But something weird happens. For no particular reason, the switch in my brain flips on again, and I start thinking about……stuff. Just stuff.
I don’t want to be thinking. But I can’t seem to stop it. I begin mulling over the morning Bible lesson. Have I prepared enough? I hear a bird chirping. What is he trying to communicate to his feathered buddies at this dark hour? The shrill sound of a train whistle rips through the air. Amazing how those trains run through Trussville twenty-four hours a day. Never stop, not even on holidays, unless of course, they stop to block a subdivision entrance. Funny, but I hardly notice them during the day, yet in the complete still of the night, you can clearly hear the cars rumbling down the tracks.
I glance at the clock. It’s 2:40 am. Go to sleep Ken!
I wonder what the Trussville Chick-Fil-A will look like when the renovations are done? I sure admire the way they have engineered the drive-through process. They somehow manage to keep it moving no matter how crowded they get. I miss Burger King. Wish it hadn’t burned down. That Whopper was a great burger. Now What-A-Burger is leaving too. Isn’t it amazing how they just plop down these little 7Brew Coffee drive-thru locations out of nowhere? Hey, that’s a great idea for a column. I start writing the sentences in my head.
No! Stop! Just stop it! Stop thinking about stuff!
Do I have any doctor appointments this week? Seems like I spend half my life in waiting rooms these days. Gee, it’s been a while since I had my car in for an oil change. I should be about due. Need to check the mileage. Probably get the tires rotated as well. Wonder whatever happened to our friends Jeff and Debbie? Used to see them around church all the time. Could they have moved? I remember that time we went out to eat at one of those Japanese restaurants where the chef flips the shrimp up at you and you try to catch them in your mouth. One of them landed in my shirt pocket. We laughed so hard. Miss those folks. Must make a mental note to send them a text.
Enough! I look at the clock. It is 3:06 am. I squeeze my eyes closed as hard as I can, as though that will knock all these random thoughts out of my mind. Maybe I could browse Facebook on my phone for a few minutes. Wonder if anybody is posting at this hour? Sure enough, one of my FB friends has written “Anybody else up?” I consider responding but think better of it. The last thing I need is to start a long Facebook conversation in the middle of the night. Put the phone down. Go to sleep. Look at Sharon, just out cold, peaceful as can be. I’m so jealous. Maybe I could stir around just a little bit, just enough to wake her up. Then I’d have someone to talk to. No, that’s a terrible idea.
I get up to go to the bathroom. Make a stop in the kitchen. Get a drink of water, return to bed, take a deep breath, and collapse into the mattress. The streams of miscellaneous thought will continue for a bit. The last time I remember peeking at the clock, it is after 4:00 am.
Suddenly, the alarm rings! I am stunned at first to realize that, eventually, I must have fallen back to sleep. I shut the alarm off and roll back on to the pillow. Minutes later, I wake up again, having dropped back off. This happens two or three times. Oh sure, now that I have to get up, I can’t stop falling back to sleep. I drag myself out of bed and trudge through the morning routine. I will spend much of the day fighting to stay awake and alert.
This experience will repeat itself almost daily, or should I say, nightly. I often wonder why my brain switch won’t cooperate with my sleep cycle. Oh well, I guess I’ll have plenty of time to ponder it. Probably tonight, around 2:00 am.
